Laugh Out Loud
by WINDxNINJA
Summary: Naruto comes into some money through sheer luck and decides to invest it into something that could be fun.  Limes in distant future.


**Author's Notfe: Anyone wanna sext?**

**Chapter 1: Luck**

Luck is a precarious thing, there is very little control we have over it. It could be some cash found on the ground, it could be a sale on what you wanted to buy, or it could be an extremely large bounty falling off a building and breaking their neck on the ground right in front of you.

That's what happen to team seven on a very routine mission. Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi were casually walking through a small town about a days walk away from Konoha when they heard a fearful shout from above them. They all suddenly looked up, drawing their weapons, to see a man falling through the air right above them. They back peddled a few steps and the man landed head first into the stone floor with a heavy thud.

Blood splattered outwards accompanied by a grotesque snapping sound as the body crumpled to the ground. It laid motionless save for the occasional twitch as the three ninjas stared bewildered at the sudden death. Sakura moved forward to check his pulse, she put her gloves on before pressing her fingers against the blood neck to find no pulse as she expected. She looked up to her teammates and shook her head.

The two lowered their knives to stare stupidly at the corpse. Naruto narrated their thoughts. "What the hell?"

_Later:_

"He was a leaf defector… a high class translator of secret codes we send and receive for ANBU shinobi and our spies." The Collector said while looking over the cold mangled corpse of the very uncoordinated defector.

Naruto and Sakura were shivering next to Kakashi as they stood in the bounty morgue. They brought it there in a quickly woven blanket made of some of their sleeping supplies. They were now burning outside the hideout.

"It was pretty lucky of him to have fallen right at your feet." The man said looking over the dead man's bounty. He whistled when he saw the bottom of the sheet. "Look at all those zeroes." He mumbled.

"So? How much?" Kakashi asked.

A moment later the three ninja stood in sudden shock, Sakura began to drool as clothes, jewelry earrings, and shoes of any shape color or brand began to fill her mind and soon her closet. Kakashi had a heavy blush as he remembered that he had the money to buy a very pretty lady he met at the sex shop, he could even buy the version with batteries in it so it is portable!

Naruto though, did not have any flashes of desire, he rarely thought about getting the 'new' thing everyone was raving about. He just didn't have the time to try to enjoy those things, he was always, always, _always_ training.

"Don't spend it all in one place." The Collector grumbled as he tried to hand the ticket over to Kakashi. The masked sensei got it but had to remove it from the man's hand with force.

The three left quickly leaving a distraught man lying face down on the cold table in the morgue. "Some guys have all the luck." he grumbled into the table. He tried to pick himself back up but realized that his face was now stuck the cold table. "Uh oh."

_Outside:_

"Kakashi-sensei! Kakashi-sensei! Let me see!" Sakura yelled as she tried to grab the ticket from Kakashi's hands. He handed it to her for her to ogle at.

Naruto got over her shoulder to look at the insane amount of money the teens now had. "Remember we are splitting that into thirds." The older man said. He had gotten checks like that every once in a while he was in ANBU, but split up into sixes due to the entire group being present. One time though he got one of those all by himself, which led to the purchase of his house.

Naruto still drew blanks on what he could buy. Ramen? It was a dime a dozen almost from the instant ramen packs and he only ate at Ichiraku's once in a while. He had no idea what to spend his money on. Naruto crossed his arms, closed his eyes and puzzled on what he could get, as they walked through yet another town. What was with all these small towns?

A newspaper flew between the group being by the wind and was caught on the Naruto's arm against the wind. He looked in surprise at it and saw the edge of a yellow bargain sign on it. He peeled the paper off his sleeve and read what was shown.

It was a notice on the sales on home computers. It showed a teen smiling in glee on her brand new computer with a flat screen at her desk and keyboard.

Naruto thought wondering. 'Hey maybe I could get a computer?' Computers were very scarce in the Elemental Countries, though some brave companies decided to try to expand to the traditional countries. Naruto didn't know much about the topic save for the few headlines he has seen on TVs and newspapers.

He recognized the name of the store and recalled that there was one not too far from his apartment back home. He smiled with glee as he folded the newspaper up and slid it into his pocket. Kakashi gave it little thought as he was planning a dinner date with his new girlfriend.

They walked on for another day when they finally reached their home. They walked through the crowded streets eager to turn in the ticket to the Bounty Officer. Naruto smiled in anticipation, wondering about what kinds of stuff he could possibly do on his computer. Their walk did not last long as they reached a small building off to the side of the Hokage Tower. Kakashi led the two in being the only one who has been there before. A young adult girl sat at the receptionist booth behind a chain link opening in the wall. She was checking her nails when she looked up expecting another testosterone-filled thug when she met a familiar face, or at least a familiar fifth of a face.

"Kakashi-kun!" She jumped a little out of her seat, she almost slid off the edge as she tried to sit back down but caught herself on the rolling chair and the counter. "I-It's been so long I haven't seen you in forever!" She said as she tucked her hair behind her ear, flattened her skirt, and placed her hands in her lap.

"It has been a long time has it Mai?" Kakashi said while smiling and rubbing the back of his head embarrassed as Naruto and Sakura watched the situation.

She giggled a little with his shortened version of her name and asked. "Wh-what can I do you for?" She said with a pleasant smile.

"I need this bounty ticket to be filled out as soon as possible." He said in an extremely less lazy voice and a bigger smile than Naruto or Sakura has ever heard or seen.

She looked surprised almost but replied. "I'm sorry the Bounty Officer is out on lunch but…" She said looking nervously. "I can fill out the ticket myself if your ok with it."

"That would be great Mai." He said smiling and handed her the ticket. Maiko took it and looked at it. She gasped slightly.

"Kakashi who did you take down the Tsuchikage?" She said jokingly as she made a copy of it.

"Something like that." He said while rubbing the back of his head again. Mai took the ticket and began filling out a form at the back of the office, she bent over to write on the low table and to Sakura's surprise Kakashi actually turned his good eye away from the perfect moment to stare at her ass. The Kakashi that was reading porn outside this room is shy to even look at a girl's butt.

Naruto throughout this conversation was thinking about what ramen he was going to have after he went to the store.

"Alright." Mai said as she leaned back up and loaded the file into a manila folder, then in a plastic cylinder and into a chute. She closed the chute's door and pressed a button to the left. The cylinder was whisked away in a blast of air and was long gone. "Since it's so much this has to go to the treasury. They're not going to be happy about that." She said smiling lightly.

"You know with the amount of money Tsunade-sama advertises for the high ranking bounties I don't think she believes anyone will actually get them." He said as he rested his elbows on the counter in front of the chain link.

"I know right? If anyone was actually able to bring in Orochimaru, Konoha would be sent into a recession." She replied as she rested her elbows on her side of the counter and rested her head on her hand.

Naruto and Sakura decided to sit down on the green couches next to the door taking the hint that it will be a while. Opposite of them they saw one of the biggest meanest shinobi they have ever seen sitting opposite of them. He was huge, possibly seven feet tall and taking up the same amount of space as the two of them. He had a cloak on covering his entire body and had a ceramic skull mask showing his beading eyes staring down. They looked down to see him reading with huge, scarred, hands a Good House Keeping magazine.

"What?…" Naruto said in confusion. The man looked straight up at him causing Naruto's spine to go rigid and press as far as it could up against the green cushion.

The man closed his magazine without looking and placed it on the table in front of him. He stood up never taking his eyes off the two ninja in front of him. Sakura mirrored his movement and whispered hastily. "Greet job Naruto now he's going to kill us!"

He began walking around the table and towards the two. Frightened out of their minds they grasp each other and try to scream but nothing came out, even their voices were afraid to approach him. He got closer and closer to the two until he could reach out and crush their necks when he said. "Are you reading that?" In a raspy and dark voice as he pointed to yet another Good House Keeping magazine in front of them.

They both looked at it for a moment and shook their heads quickly. He picked it up slowly and returned to his spot on the other side. He sat and began to read the first page. "Ooh, a new issure." He almost whispered.

Naruto and Sakura both had the same thought at that moment. 'I think I peed a little!'

**Author's Note: I don't own Naruto, Anime or Manga, or the Video Games, or the Trading Cards, or the Pillows, or the Toys. None of it. I do own this story though! Sorta...**

**The more reviews I get the better chance I keep making them keep 'em coming!**


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